Video Blog - Shoplifting

This is my video blog for Opinion Writing class. It is not comical, just me talking about how much shoplifting bothers me.

I can't run, I can't hide, even if I wear different clothes, they find me

How do they always find me? Even if I am not working that day, and I am following three of my co-workers around the store, customers will let them go by then ask me to find them a shoe. Is there some sign stapled to my forehead that others can read and I can't see? I guess it's because although I sound like an asshole in these blogs, I look like a nice, knowledgeable young man in person. I guess my smug demeanor and ample eye contact make me an easy target. Ask the guy with the name tag, tie, price gun and worksheet for a shoe, not me. I'm just an unexpecting bi-stander like you in this situation. I don't want to help you, and I'm not going to, but good luck with that!

Why Even Bother?

Yeah sure, you wanna buy a firearm? No problem, here you go. Right over the counter, you look like a good guy so I'll cut you a break. Psh, what do I look like? Someone who doesn't want to keep his job? You will fill out the paperwork, you WILL submit to a background check, and if you don't pass, it's not my problem! Having a serious or violent criminal record f***s you up for life dumbass. When people tell you: "Don't do drugs," "Don't drink and drive," "Don't hit your girlfriend," or "Don't knock off a liquor store or steal a car," they are not trying to register you for the Republican party, they are trying to prevent you from preventing yourself from owning a firearm! California is the worst place to purchase a firearm. With all the idiots running around, we have to have ridiculous legislation in order to make sure someone like the before-mentioned does not arm themselves. Just think about it: The more people you pack in to an area, the more idiots are in that area, I'm just playing by the percentages here. How else can you control the idiots? You can't separate them out, so everyone suffers (i.e. the stringent and strict laws in California for obtaining firearms). Now I've just wasted my time with you at this counter, opening up every rack and showing you several firearms, only for you to tell me you have "a record" and ask if your girlfriend can fill out the paperwork for you. I don't want to believe in the phrase, "Once a criminal, always a criminal." I believe in second chances, people make mistakes in the long journey of life. But these people walking in to the store and doing these kinds of things makes me have doubts. I am sitting in class right now, fully appreciating my education, because I have a firm grasp of logic and reason, and I feel bad for those who never had that. Will mankind ever get better.......?

And the Store Has Reached...A New Low

You spend a couple hundred bucks on a piece of technology that is supposed to make your life easier. It doesn't work out how you wanted it to, so you return it. Fair enough. $200 is a lot of money for most of us, especially in our nation's current economic predicament. However, I have yet to encounter a $200 hoola hoop, and yet I have returned three of them over the span of my career with my current employer. Two of those times, the customer simply wanted their money back and was not planning on exchanging it for anything else. Are you freaking kidding me? The customer probably spent more money on gas to get to the store than they got back after returning that stupid piece of plastic that is a sorry excuse for getting your kids to exercise. Side note: It seems kids are getting fatter and fatter these days, and hoola hoops have become better at creating future strippers than shedding childhood weight.
What is the thought process for returning a hoola hoop? At the time of purchase: "Wow, this looks great. I can dance with it, I can...uh....spin around and move my hips....oh and this store has a GREAT return policy if it doesn't perform how I want it to. It's a freakin' hoola hoop! It doesn't water your lawn, take out the trash, get you a beer out of the fridge, nor will it pay your taxes. You put it around you waist, spin your hips in a small circle, and it does what your hips do. How do you buy one of these things and then suddenly decide that $3.99 investment is crippling? Two out of the three times I have returned one of these the excuse was, "It was the wrong size." Did it shrink in the washing machine? Did you remarkably become far-sighted just at the right moment when your eyes were first laid on that scented and brightly colored circle of nightmare? What the hell is wrong with you? Just take your $3.99 and buy yourself a bus pass to the end of the earth, take one more step off the edge and do all of us a favor. Jackass

Lost in Translation

Whenever someone tells me that our public schools aren't receiving enough funding, I just laugh. This happens at least twice a shift for me: A young boy or girl comes up to me and in broken English, amidst numerous pauses, asks me to point their parents in the direction of a product. Where are the parents? Waiting for their child to come back and translate it in to Spanish for them. I love the fact that America is so diverse, a real "melting pot," but I can't stand the language barriers and the lack of effort from people who are not in this country legally. Now that I've pissed you off, I will explain: I fully understand that not every non-English speaking person in this country is an illegal alien, but if I'm going to make an attempt to help you find what you need, I would like to feel a little reciprocation for my efforts. Yes, I am paid to help these people and they are not paid to speak English, but given how hard it must be to provide for your family and communicate with the general public, wouldn't you attempt to make it easier for you and your family? For the first time in my blogs I am honestly asking for a response from my readers, as I would like to discuss this and gain perspective, even from another point of view. Hit me up.

Who Me?

Have you ever had someone just start talking to you like you're already in the middle of a conversation? For example: Someone you may know (or not know) is standing near by, happens to overhear your conversation, and decides to chime in with vital information as if they have been involved in your conversation circle from "hello." It happens to me everyday. I've got my back to someone while being busy with another customer, or frantically trying to finish a task handed to me by my boss when I hear, "Can I see this one?" The customer has just committed a small break in etiquette by skipping over the "Excuse me, Sir?" and going straight to the ensuing question. I'm gonna be honest with you readers, half the time I pretend I didn't hear because I know I can get away with it. Who knows who he was talking to? I don't. I can't seem him behind me. For all I know he was talking to his wife about her getting something out of her purse. I will literally continue with what I am doing until I get an "Excuse me, Sir?" I'll even take a "Hey man, you might showing me some binoculars?" I guarantee you will get the most attitude from me if you act like we are ol' buddies and skip the pleasantries. If you have ever had me help you in my store and have started our conversation with, "I wanna see some knives" while my back was turned, you've probably gotten this response, "Well the glass is see-through, so have at it!" Sigh, I am reminded of one of my earlier posts about hailing me for service.

A lot of times those customers make me think this is their senior photo in the yearbook:

Live from Twilight Lounge!

Disclaimer: If you have been torturing yourself by reading each one of my blogs before this one, you're in luck! This is simply a "live blog" post about my recent experience at Twilight Lounge. I will attempt to use my superb vocabulary to set the mood and put your mind in my seat. I will avoid comedy (well, I'll try) so that you can see my expert journalistic style. And away we go!

First of all, forget everything I just said. There were simply just way too many idiots floating around to let that slide. Hmm, where to start. Oh I know! How about the group of three or four guys that rolled up in matching bikes (yet four different colors) complete with glow lights that match the paint job and four semi-attractive biker girls on the back (the girls shoulda kept the helmets on). They walk in as if everyone is looking at them with admiration, meanwhile nobody strained their necks to see. They marched straight to the middle of the dance floor (Oh how the aroma of Axe body spray sauntered about the room). Oh what luck! Their favorite song was playing in which they knew every word (Yeah, trust me, they have that kinda time on their hands) and immediately they all became little wannabe Eminems. Complete with wife beaters and matching fitted hats with the stickers still on the bill, they began to attempt a dance while lip-syncing the words. The smiles and giggles of all the girls in the place only fueled the "hey look at me" fire.
For those of you not familiar with Twilight Lounge, it is a great place for loud music, free wi-fi, and Hookah. "The dance crew" felt the empty space in the middle was a dance floor, so they got busy. I was trying not to laugh (because I was choking on the Hookah, not because I would care if they saw me laughing, I fit right in with everyone else in the room) but I gotta give them props, that took brass balls, but trust me, that's about the only thing they are using their balls for. When the song was finally over, they returned to their seats and everyone who was either crying from laughter or passing out from lack of oxygen (since you don't take in any air when you're laughing so hard your cheeks hurt) and life went on as usual.
Despite the display of idiocy, Twilight Hookah Lounge is a great place to kick back with friends if you like smoking Hookah. The DJ is awesome, the big screens are great, and they have tons of Hookah flavors to choose from while you are chilling on the couches. It is located on Chapman just passed State College, within walking distance of the campus of CSUF. I highly recommend it! Seriously, come out with me some time, I can always use another finger pointing at the idiots while we share a laugh. ;)