Please, Don't Help Yourself

Customers, please don't help yourself with heavy equipment or tiny, sealed packages. The two things are just too easy to screw up or hurt yourself with. On top of that, the employees generally have to come fix it after you've forgotten where you are and how you got there.

A hint about sealed packages: They're meant to NOT be opened before purchase, not just to annoy you (which is fun to watch for us). Heavy equipment generally has a warning label on its box (not like you read though). Don't get me wrong, there are few greater joys of retail work than to watch you fall on your ass or get all worked up about not being able to open that tiny package, but please, let the people who get paid to do these kinds of things take care of them for you. I'm talking about BEFORE you attempt to open the package, not after you have failed and left a mess.

One of these days I am going to dust for fingerprints, track you down, try to help you open a jar of mayonnaise, then spill it all over your new carpet and walk out the door. I hate you.